I won’t lie: I have complicated feelings about positive affirmations. Many of the generic ones feel cheesy and full of toxic positivity, like Love yourself! You can do anything you set your mind to! Live, laugh, love! As someone with chronic physical & mental illnesses, I get irritated when people suggest that positive affirmations, essential oils, or eating vegetables[1]I do eat vegetables sometimes, but I’m more of a fruit person. might “cure” me.
However, I’ve been struggling with a lot of internalized sex negativity and shame. When my therapist suggested writing my own sex positive affirmations, I rolled my eyes, but I created a set of them anyway. To my surprise, personalized affirmations have had a positive[2]Pun, wholeheartedly intended. impact on the way that I approach my body & sexuality.
Since May is Masturbation Month, I wanted to share some of my favorite sex positive affirmations! I like keeping these posted on sticky notes in places where I’ll see them often.
1. Masturbation is self care.
2. Orgasms are not an indicator of sexual success or failure.
3. I deserve to feel good.
4. It is safe for me to connect with my body and sexuality.
5. There is no right or wrong way to masturbate.
6. My body has needs that deserve to be met.
7. I trust myself to explore touch and sensation in whatever way feels best for me.
8. I am allowed to get messy and make noise. I am allowed to take up space.
9. There’s nothing weird or shameful about the way I get off.
10. I will not apologize for my body or my desires.
11. I am inherently worthy of pleasure – it’s not something that I need to earn.
12. I’m hot as fuck!
Some of these may resonate with you, some might not, and that’s okay! These are just examples of affirmations that I have personally found helpful.
Do you have any favorite sex positive affirmations or other ways that you combat sex negativity? I’d love to hear about them in the comments below!